Intense sadness, or grief, is an emotion. It is the body’s natural response to loss. And the greater the loss, the more intense the sorrow will be. But handling sorrow is an enormous task that we all must perform.
Emotional pain is personal. It is a highly individual response. So the way you grieve depends on your personality and coping style, your faith and beliefs, your experience of life, and the nature of the loss. And grieving can be a long process for some.
Handling Sorrow – Some Reasons for Sorrow and Grief
- Divorce or breakup of a relationship
- Loss of employment
- Loss of finances
- A miscarriage
- Loss of a loved one
- Retirement from a loved career
- Loss of a friendship
- Losing your loved home
- Loss of health
Handling Sorrow – How Does One Experience Sorrow or Grief
- Shock or disbelief, which is is usually the first emotion you feel. You’re numb, and you find it hard to accept.
- Sadness. Profound sorrow, a feeling of emptiness, despair, you cry a lot.
- Guilt. You feel guilty over things you may have said or done. You may even feel guilty for not having done more to prevent it.
- Anger. You start blaming people – yourself, the doctors, employer, or even God.
- Fear. You may fear the future, and new responsibilities, your mortality, you feel insecure and alone.
- And then you have the physical symptoms – because of the stress and despair, your resistance is low, and you may feel physically ill.
How to cope with this grief or sorrow
You need to express pain so you can move on. Today there are websites which offer sound information on how to deal with the situation. They suggest good books on grief and bereavement forums as an example. With these resources, you discover the answers to handling grief, and they are all equally important.
Early Stage
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- Acknowledge your pain, and accept the reality of the death or loss.
- Tell your story to others – your friends, family, and anyone who will listen. You need to talk about it to make it real.
- Create a memorial for the loved one. Make a scrapbook of memories. Doing something like this will give you a feeling of productivity, and give you time for reflection.
- Reach out to others. They want to be there for you, but don’t always know how best to help. Allow them to spoil and pamper you if they want to.
Middle Stage
- Think about how you want to get through the bad ‘trigger’ days such as Christmas, holidays, and birthdays. If you prepare yourself and make sure you are not alone at these times, you will probably get through them much easier than you thought.
- Don’t grieve alone. Don’t keep family and friends at a distance. Call someone, describe your feelings, and ask if they will join you for a happy movie, or a cup of tea and chat.
Final Stage
- Acceptance and moving on
- Find yourself new starts – a new outlook, new interests, and even new friendships.
- Start thinking of your future – where to from here?
Finally
Some people feel better in weeks, others take years. Don’t compare yourself to others. Get some ideas from the website recover-from-grief.com. Jennie is the webmaster but is also a licensed and registered critical care nurse, highly experienced in working with those in crisis and bereavement. So do it. It’s a simple start to slowly moving on into a new phase of your life
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